Holy first tantrum, batman!

This morning Mads had her first major meltdown tantrum. Because she's a toddler. And can't communicate. 30 minutes of screaming in my ear, stomping all over my legs, and flailing on the floor. You know, it's a lot easier when I'm coaching a parent through this. Going through it myself while maintaining calmness, stern voice, and not giving in to the whims of her boundary testing is a whole different ordeal.

On the flip side, I was quite proud that the end result was exactly as I anticipated but was surprised how well it turned out. Mads was no longer fussy or whiney the rest of the morning. She was happy and content with herself with not even a hint of fussiness. Guess girlfriend just really needed to blow off some serious steam.

*Child Psychologist Hat On*

I knew that it was inevitable Mads was going to have tantrums, meltdowns, talk backs, whatever. She's a little human being trying to explore boundaries. The key to being supportive parents was not that we needed to nip these in the bud or prevent it from ever happening, but that we teach her how to turn those into productive moments and be there for her emotions.

Have you ever been so mad at something, and someone tells you, "Just stop being angry. Stop it." And it makes you even more angry? Well, kids are exactly the same way, except they don't have the mental capacity or the vocabulary to handle it. So WHOLE BODY SLAMS IT IS!

I've coached tons of parents through these tantrums but today was the first time I went through it myself with Mads. She wanted to be held. She didn't want to be held. She wanted to go outside. She wanted to go inside. She wanted juice. She didn't want juice. OH MY GOD MADS. She got fussier and angrier by the moment and the only thing I could do was sit down on the floor (and make sure all our surroundings were safe and padded) and let her wail, scream, kick, cry, pull, roll, do what she needed to do to express her frustration. All the while, I rubbed her back, reminded her, "Mommy's here." That's it. 30 minutes which seemed like an eternity when a high pitched toddler scream is ringing your ear off. Then suddenly, she calmed down, tucked her head on my shoulder, sat down, and just pointed at the door. I asked if she wanted to go out of her room, she nodded, and we went into the kitchen for some juice. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop or something to happen that would re-trigger her royal fussiness. But nope. That was it. That 30 minutes of explosion was what she needed.

We may never know why our children are mad or sad or angry. But it's important for us to 1. let them feel that way, and 2. be there during and after.